Love

I guess that is a good place as any to start this blog. What really is love? For many years I thought I was not able to be loved. Be it from my father calling me names or making me feel as if Im never good enough. My mother always thinking the worst in me because of somethings I did when i was young and stupid. Boyfriends again calling me names and only wanting me for my body and not my heart. I guess for years I always assumed love was not something I was meant to have in my life.

That did, however, change. I had my son which means more to me than a mother could only understand or even explain. I have my best friend of over 10 years. She and I have had our moments but that's normal in any relationship but I know that if I need someone she will always be there for me as I will be for her. I'm also dating a wonderful man that Im glad I gave a second chance. He makes me feel so alive and makes everything around me much more spacial.

Now for years I hated myself because of whatever everyone told me. I hated my looks, my style, my life in every way. I always tried to make everyone happy until one day I realized something that I wished I had known sooner. You can't make everyone happy. Think about if you make one person happy someone else is upset. I learned that you can only be yourself and the hell with everyone else. I'm not put on this Earth to please everyone, only myself. And in the end that's all that matters.


Now that kanji actually does mean love. I loved it since I figured out that it really did mean Love and not something else thanks to Naruto. (Manga/anime) I guess it's because life is very much like the kanji. It has lots of curves but in the end it makes something beautiful. Life hands you a lot of curves and it's up to you to find the love in it yourself. That whole: you have to love yourself before someone loves you: thing can be true but also you need to understand that there can never be too much love and no matter what it only matters what you want and what you believe.