The title of this post is just a glimpse of what will be posted here shortly. I'm not a bad person and I've had bad things done to me. I feel like I shouldn't be judged by things I have done when I was a stupid teenager or even dumber young adult. My life didn't matter to me until I had Jeremiah so I try not to let things before him bother me. Now before I get to the point I want to say, I was dumb in many things and I feel like things have come back to haunt me. Word to the wise: karma is a bitch because whatever you did before comes back to you 10 folds later.
I will start with about two weeks ago. I had to get my yearly exam done. No I will not get into details(like I ever will) but I went and got it over with. I got a prescription for Ortha Evra birth Control patch....now I mostly use BC to stay regular but when I went to fill out the script I found out Medicaid no longer covered it. Thus making me make another appointment to get on something else.
Fast forward one week. I started my period two weeks sooner than anyone likes b/c I lost my patches. Dont ask how, I still can't find them and I've cleaned my room a lot. Well I was working on my Fun With Make-up post when I get a phone call. It was the health department asking me to come in because something came back on my urine tests. It was...well I'm not telling; you don't really need to know but I will say it was easy to get rid of. I freaked out and called Shannon...at her new job...to tell her. Needless to say, I also called Dean...at school...to tell him he needed to go to the health department to get checked. I love him and trust him so I knew whatever I had must have been dormant for many years. Dean wasn't pissed which only made me love him more.
Now to this week. I went back to the health department to get a new birth control. The IUD. Basically it's this tiny "T" wrapped in copper that helps prevent me getting pregnant for 10 years! Not joking...10 YEARS! Yes i can get it take out before then if I want to have another child. My thing about it was when they forcefully opened the cervix to insert this little inch long "T". That hurt! Most disgusting thing is that they put something in you to keep you from bleeding everywhere and it's gross when I pee.
Shannon and I talked alot about this post and how I should go about it. I was at first going to mention the STD but then I thought, you dont need to know. I wasn't going to get too detailed about a lot of things but then I thought who cares. Like I said, karma is a bitch. I'm still the same person I have been during these last few months. I'm still the same crazy person everyone loves. And I'm still the writer that doesn't have the nerve to finish her damn story. I'm a mother. A friend. A daughter. A sister. And a lover. Im everything I am because I try to be as honest as possible with everyone about everything I possible can be. I'm not ashamed of anything I've done because it's made me who I am today. I could never go back and change anything about myself because then I would be a different person. Oddly enough sitting here writing about these last two weeks and how I feel and knowing that when I hit publish post it's going to be out there for everyone to see and read....I feel free. I feel like I have nothing else to worry about and I'm not going to let fear rule me.
1 comment:
I'm proud of you Din Din. I know that this post was really hard for you to do, it's hard to let go of fears and publish them for the world to see. But you have nothing to be ashamed of, I've been there too, and I was scared and a whole lot pissed off, but it was simple to fix. I understand the freedom of hitting "publish post" and just letting your fears go. I love you, I adore you, and I will always be here for you. Love you Sis!
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