Not a normal day

I'm sorry I have neglected my blog but I have had a few things happen to me. All emotionally. Dean and I broke up and that actually sparked a bite of anger in me for his reasons. I can't do anything about it and I just have to deal with it and move on. Which I pretty much have been trying to do. Shannon and I were gonna go on this trip next year but our funding has kinda gone downhill. She lost a job and I cant find one. Jeremiah has been his usual annoying self but that's normal of a 5 year old. However he has also been part of the reason I went into a mild attack. Too much happened in too short of a time and I couldnt deal with it and I kinda went a little crazy.

I've been trying to embrace my Wiccian religion but being scared of my skills for so long has made me worry about trying them now. No I dont cast spells and try to hurt people I'm more into sensing spirits and having vibes. The only reason I'm even mentioning this is because I have two friends that are helping me to understand it. It's not something I do for fun and games. This is who I am now.

For some reason I'm feeling very down today. I shouldnt because I had a good day but with me I always feel like something bad is going to happen. I'm suppose to be going to the beach this weekend...great beach weather over here, but i keep feeling like something bad is gonna happen. Maybe I'm just worrying over nothing but I know my feelings are normally right. (Wish I could apply them to boyfriends)

I believe whatever it is that got me in this funk needs to go away. I want to hang out with friends and I want to have fun. I need it. I've had an emotional train wreck this last month and I want to be able to sit back and do nothing but be with my friends and spend time with my son. So why do I feel like it's not gonna happen?

Sorry but like always my posts can be depressing. I tend to rant and dont realize I was ranting until it's too last and I'm too lazy to delete anything.