New Eclipse trailer!

Ok so most of you know I'm a Twilight fan...can't help it I like vampires since I was like 10 or so. Anyways. I saw this trailer and thought I should share it.

Is this really happening?

Im sorry that I have not posted in a little bit but I have other things going on in my mind. Lately I've been watching logan for Shannon because she's leaving me mid-June. Now I have to think about Jeremiah's 5th Birthday. He keeps telling me he wants a How to Train Your Dragon theme but then he'll change his mind to Transformers, Spongebob, Batman, or Spiderman. I understand he's young but I needed him to figure out what he wants so i can start getting things. I guess I should talk to his father first about getting him to pitch in (HA!) Basically I think I'll do what Ive done before: get a center piece and say that's the theme. Hehe...did that to him last year. Wonder Pets theme on the cake and center piece.

I think today im just gonna sit here and ramble about anything I feel like just so I have nothing to say later. Don't know if that makes sence but it helps me and that's what really matters. I've been watching Deadliest Catch the last few days. Thank Shannon for getting me hooked on the crap. I dont know if I should turn it off because the crab are the ugliest things Ive ever seen or keep watching to see how much money they made and if it was worth it.

The next thing I've been watching Biggest loser(because it's nice to know there are people worse off then me...explained in other posts), 90210 (because I was into the first 90210 when i was in high School), So You Think You Can Dance (well they are really good dancers), The Vampire Diaries( love my vamps), True Blood(better vamps) and Naruto(hush..I like anime. Have for years).

It's nice to know that I can talk abourt nothing but still have something to talk about. I watch way too much TV and play games. I love how I got my kid hooked on playing video games. Ah to be that young again.

Spring Break and Nature

So this last week was spring break for my son and I pretty much lived at Shannon's house. Shannon lives in the middle of nothing where here house is 8 feet up in the air and sits on and acre and a half. Lots of extra land and lots of nothing to do. No phone. No Internet. No Cable. just trees and grass. Well one day while she was at work i took the boys outside to play. Yes I was being a kind friend and babysat so she could work and make a life for her son. Well i got out my camera and started playing around. I took pictures of the boys playing around but that's another post. I found some really neat things walking around. Here are some of the things I found.

Don't know if u can see it but there is a butterfly on the flower. Cool huh?

Lots of dead trees.

This my son called "the Wonderland Rabbit hole." He said Alice was in it.

Another dead tree....but it's creepy because it's howled out.

Mulberries! She has a large tree just down stairs full of fruit. The boys and I ate the heck out of them.

This is the swamp/pond in her back yard. I don't know if I should call it a back yard but it's back there.

Beautiful palm trees.

Yes this tree really is laying on the ground.

Another semi dead tree...although I didn't touch it because I wasn't sure if it was covered in poison ivy and I know that there is quite a bit outside.

Oh and to finish is out...a real working out house. No I have never used. Actually I have never seen anyone use it in the last 5 years she's been out there.

I can't beleive Im saying this

Well if you haven't figured it by now I will tell you again. I suffer from depression. I've been dealing with it since I was 12 years old and have been Baker Acted when I was 16. If you don't know what that is it's when you get locked up in a mental hospital for 72 hours for trying to kill yourself. I know; stupid. At that time in my life I was really down and I just didn't think I could deal with anything anymore. Yes that is why I missed weeks of school in High School.


Since then life has gotten better for me. However I'm still on medication and I'm on so many different things that I feel like a walking pharmacy. I take something for my depression, some for sleep, something for a thyroid problem, something for anxiety and some other things plus vitamins. Luckily, nothing I'm taking is for high blood pressure or anything like that because of my weight.

Now saying that I have to admit I've gained about 80 pounds since high school...Not because I don't care about myself but because I've dealt with so much crap since high school that I never noticed until it was too late. I don't even notice the weight until I go try on clothes then I'm depressed....anyone see the cycle here? My weight is not the cause of my depression it's actually more personal then that and I don't want to admit what is my main button that sets it off.

I want to say to those that called me names in school: Thank you. You have made me a stronger person and I'm happy with whom I am today. I worked hard to get my life in some kind of order. I thank everyone that was every mean and rude to me because I know now I can deal with it and it no longer bothers me. You can call me names and I just shrug and go "whatever". Nothing like that bothers me any more. Also I want to thank those whom were nice to mean because your words and kindness also helped me be whom I am today.

I feel like if I admit things on a post then I'm less likely to deal with stupid people and more likely to deal with the things that I need to worry about. Like my son. he's fixing to be 5 and I'm already not looking forward to when he gets in middle school....I look at him and go "This is what I get for being such a b*tch in middle and high school". I know already that it's gonna bite me in the a**. The one thing I know about saying whatever I want on my posts is that it's all my opinion and I don't care what you say. I will say whatever is on my mine and you chose to read it. You chose to come on here and listen to me grip about my problems and what's going on in my life or in my mind.

Most things I wouldn't care about unless I knew that once I hit the "publish post" button I'm free. And that's how it is. I sat here and admitted I have a problem with depression because I know so many people deal with it. I know that a lot of people ignore it. I also know a lot of people don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Want to know what is the light at the end of my tunnel? It's my son, Shannon, Dean, and my brother. Didn't say my parents because I have my reasons. I thank God I have them in my life and I thank God I know my problem can be dealt with and I can still live on.

Just a head's up

So I've been really busy lately. I've been helping Shannon with Logan and school as well as taken care of my own son. From Sunday night to Wednesday afternoon I sit around taking care of both boys, cook, clean, go to school, do homework and deal with my own crap. I will say this, it's hard and I keep going"Thank God I only have one child and get child support plus Jeremiah's father actually takes him every other weekend. Well things have been so rough on me.

This little boy is my drive to keep going and to keep doing the things I do because I know one day it will all be worth it and it will all be for him.

I am so happy when I see him doing the weirdest things. He loves his new How To Train Your Dragon pjs. he was pretending to be NightFury/Toothless. he always makes me smile no matter how much he makes me angry. I guess it's a Mom thing.


PS: this picture was just a BS pic that Jeremiah asked me to take. This is the weird crap my son has me do.

Real Princesses of New Jersey

So I have been watching a lot of Disney Channel lately because my son has been home mostly all day with me. In between each show is a commercial for Sunny with a Chance (Or as Busy Bee Lauren has it SWAC) and I saw this skit...I thought it was so funny. I keep thinking of The Nanny and Fran. So I thought I'd share it with you.